Growing up without a father made me appreciate my husband more

Sometimes I just stare at my husband with much adoration and appreciation of the love he has for our son. I often thank him for doing things that a father should do. Things like caring for him, playing with, teaching and loving him unconditionally and with no complaints.

” What type of father complains about taking care of their kid?”, is the question my husband asks me when I share with him my gratitude. Though, sadly and very unfortunately, there are children who grow up without a parent. I was one. I was raised in a single parent household. Growing up without my father, I believe is the reason I appreciate my husband as a father, so much more.

My husband was raised by his father. So, to him naturally it’s normal and expected that a father cares for his child, whole-heartedly and unconditionally. For me, it is the complete opposite.

I know a father should be there for their child, just as a mother should. Though, for some reason, I still feel extraordinarily blessed and thankful that my son has an amazing father. I literally can’t thank him enough.

None of this is to say my husband doesn’t thank me as well. Or that I wouldn’t appreciate him if I’d grown with my father, but I do believe my gratitude is a bit more “extra” because of it.

Not only am I thankful of my husband for the father he is, but I am also thankful of his father, for showing him what a father should be. After all, we learn a lot from how we were raised. The effect we allow it to have on us as a parent, is completely our choice .

I could’ve allowed my lack of a fatherly figure to negatively impact my choice in men. I could have chosen an unsupportive partner to bear children with or chosen not to have any children at all, in fear of abandonment. Instead, I relied on my feelings of what I knew I DIDN’T want myself and my children to experience. Likewise, my husband, chose to be the present father that he was raised to be, just as his own father was present in his life.

Many of our childhood memories and experiences, shape who we are today. Whether good or bad, happy or sad, every experience can be a learning experience.

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