I remember sitting at work in my 8th month of pregnancy saying to my boss “I miss being tired from hanging all night”. This was after hearing one of my co-workers mention she’d been out hanging the night before, knowing she had to get up in the morning for work.
To me, that tired was nothing compared to the exhaustion I felt from being kicked in my ribs all night while trying to sleep, sitting up right to combat the heartburn my unborn baby was giving me. Yet, even though I felt that was as tired as I’d ever be, people kept saying to me “oh just wait”. Though I had no idea what they meant. “Babies sleep most of the day away, I should be fine”, I figured.
Well here I am, no longer 8 months pregnant carrying my 5 or 6 pound baby. Instead, I am STILL carrying my now 20 pound, 8 month old baby boy! My son LOVES being held, taking walks through the house, helping me do chores and cuddling before naps. He still spends majority of the day in my arms. It’s the sweetest thing ever, but of course it can still be tiring.
Preparing meals, cleaning, getting dressed and shopping with one hand takes some skill! It also takes double the time. I’ve always dreaded folding laundry, now I get to fold the laundry twice, after my little one goes behind me to roll over it.
Aside from multi-tasking to complete daily tasks, there’s so much running through a mother’s mind. Deciding whether we should eat, sleep, shower or clean during our baby’s 1-2 hour nap, choosing what to prepare for dinner, remembering to schedule doctor appointments and thinking of ways to be a better mom. These are about 5% of our constant thoughts.
At the end of the night I’m normally up an extra hour or 3 after everyone’s asleep. I’m either trying to shut my brain off for the night or trying to catch up on as much work as I can while my hands are free.
As a mom, we are always aware and cautious. So even after we finally get to sleep, we’re still not fully asleep. Somehow, we hear every movement our baby makes, know exactly how many times they turn through the night and wake several times to nurse, feel their temperature, check their diaper and make sure they’re comfortable. Which is why is why even after a full night’s rest, we still feel exhausted in the morning.
We are our own critics!
Naturally we’re our own critics, we want to be more than enough for our family, as well as the best versions of ourselves. That means we seek perfection in every thing we do. Just being a good mom isn’t enough. We want to be the BEST mom, wife, friend, family member, girl boss and look our BEST while doing it. And though things are so much different than when our parents raised us, society doesn’t go easy on us millennial moms either. Not to mention, babies are pretty demanding and I’m often reminding myself who’s boss.
A mother’s job is never done!
Trying to meet milestones on a precise timeline, learning the healthiest baby food recipes, researching holistic health and lifestyle choices, staying educated on vaccinations, minimizing screen time, teaching sign language, encouraging self-soothing and independence while still breastfeeding and providing maximum love and support, I mean the list goes on and on.
A mother’s job is simply never done, and quite honestly we don’t want it to be. Being a mom has become our top favorite and most important priority, we enjoy caring for and loving on our little humans. We can’t even imagine a life outside of motherhood and demands, but still…we get tired at times.
Tired moms will often face unfair judgement.
Sleepless nights, tiredness and anxiety are just a part of motherhood. So how can we feel bad for admitting we get tired and ashamed of constant worrying and anxiety.
Being a parent’s a pretty big deal. This often makes others around us see us as “different” or “unrecognizable”. The friend they used to hangout with a majority of the time, could call any hour of the night and had much time in the world, is now tired and unavailable.
It can take time for close friends and family to adapt to our new lifestyle. Even our husband or partners are having a hard time getting used to dinner and laundry being a little later than usual. So just imagine how we feel adapting. It was our decision to start a family so we should be fine and able to do it all without ever getting tired. At least that’s what people will assume if you dare ever mention that motherhood is tiring.
When did being tired turn into a complaint rather than a feeling. I mean no one could stop their body from getting fatigued after a busy day, not even if we wanted to. It’s not a bad thing to feel exhausted, it’s just a thing!
Why does feeling tired have to be a bad thing?
So why do moms get judgment for admitting a break could feel nice? Everyone could benefit from a good rest to recover and rejuvenate themselves. What makes moms exempt?
Unfortunately, there’s no acceptable answer as to why others view tired moms as weak, ungrateful or selfish. But, I am here to create the unpopular opinion in our society. It’s completely normal and okay to feel and admit that being a mom can be tiring at times.
Self-care affects how we care for others.
I’ve learned the hard way that ignoring my own health, physically and mentally, has a negative effect on my ability to care for my family. I believe that practicing self care is a quality that a great mother must have. When you’re healthy and well rested, you are much better equipped to take care of others.
A tired mom is a strong mom.
I like to think a tired mother is a strong mother. Doing what’s best for our babies as opposed to what’s convenient for us is more tiring. For example; making home made baby food is more tiring than serving pre-made baby food, reading books and encouraging supervised play over screen time can be more tiring.
If you’re a mom and you’re tired at the end of the day. I would assume you’re a great mother and did a great job. I won’t assume you’re a bad mom or complaining for needing rest at the end of the day. It would be nice if more could think this way. Though, some will never understand.
You’re doing great!
When my little one looks up at me with a smile, I know whose opinion matters most! So, to the tired mom who’s ashamed to admit it. I hope you know that it’s okay and you’re allowed to feel tired. You’re doing a great job and your children will thank you!